Last night I got scolded by a friend for not blogging in a long time. I ask you...how many people do you know MY AGE who are successful bloggers? For all we know, I may be doing very well compared to my peers.
I have been resisting the urge to write about me...or more accurately, my wife. It is a fact that about 70% of people who start out in the ministry do not finish well. Along with that, it is VERY common for people in ministry to wreck their families by paying attention to their flock and putting their spouses and children on the back burner. I'll bet this happens most often because pastors feel a deep responsibility to the call of God on their lives. I have NEVER felt pressure from the people of PF to do more work. I'm often asked "how are you?" or" Are you and Maryanne doing well?" No one has ever commented that I should be spending more of my time working.
It's all inside our heads...those of us who work for our beloved family called PF. There's this little voice inside when we take a break...when we need a rest and just want to do NOTHING. The voice says "You're not working. You're cheating them. Don't you have things to do?" I know it's a lie, but it's a struggle anyway. Has been for all the years I've been doing this.
So...about my wife. Maryanne officially retired this past Wednesday after 20 years of working as a teacher in a men's Federal Prison. They let you leave after 20 years because they know you're worn out and not effective as a law enforcement officer any more. At 53, my wife isn't really retiring; she just doesn't have to work at the prison any more. She's looking for the next big thing God has for her life. So am I. I care more for her than I do for myself, and she really needs that from me in this season of her life. These past few days that she's been off we have done more than the usual amount of cocooning, and I can see the life flowing back into her.
So if you will allow me, I am pulling back just a little from my normal amount of "attention-giving" at PF so I can pay some more attention to Maryanne for a while.
In the meantime, as I consider how we spent a blessed, peaceful Christmas together, I have a prayerful heart for the Larson Family who spent their holidays scrambling to figure out cancer treatment for Steve. They are our dear friends...exactly our age...and they have a lot more weight on their shoulders than I do. I can't stop for one minute holding up before our Heavenly Father the loved ones in my midst who are struggling. And I can't stop being what the Body of Christ is meant to be...by pouring my life into my Brothers and Sisters in tangible ways that cost me time, money and inconvenience. Let's all spend this next year doing more of that stuff!
